School.

Taking online classes is very lonely. It’s been a good five years since I’ve been to school, but back then I was taking normal, human interaction classes. Now I’m taking the deep dive into starting 3 online classes while maintaining a full time job. I’m grateful to be working toward finishing my English degree, as I only need 23 more credits to complete. I knew it would be hard work, but currently going into the second week, I am realizing how demanding this will be.

Currently, I am sitting in my office at work. The light coming from my cute pale-blue lamps brighten the small room and I see my owl painting gazing at me. The quiet stillness is calming compared to the bustling energy of people during the day. I am staying late to get some quality study time at a perfect place- a large, wooden desk, double-screen computer monitor action, and best of all- quiet. But, like I said, it is lonely.

I am having to turn down valuable time with friends and family. Now I need to consider dropping my Wednesday night Inner Child class that I help facilitate at a treatment center. Through this, I think God is showing me how precious time is and how I need to treasure those close friends and family who are supportive and understanding. In the past, much of my “study” time was more of an adderall binge than anything. I would cram 8+ hours of paperwriting and test studying in single sessions. I barely made it during that time. Now I am going through it completely sober, and doing things the right way may be harder at times, but it sure feels good.

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Memory

When you look up at the clock
It reminds you of circling around the block
With a tick tock tick tock
You realize time is circular
But it also creates images and pictures.

Remember when you were a kid
You thought the world was all yours
Never-ending, your container had no lid

It overwhelms you with a sense of nostalgia
And hits your stomach with a burst of nausea

Back then, your dreams were your own, they had no end.
Now they belong to other people,
Get a boring job and a white picket fence.

What is worry? You used to not know.
But now you’re always in a hurry.

Try to slow your life back down
Remember when you used to laugh
And never have a frown.