Insurmountable

We are

the expendables-

how extraordinary

is the notion

that we could be gone

from this world

tomorrow

maybe some people

weren’t made

for this world-

their pain is felt

more than most.

It is all relative.

Contextual, at best-

the differences in

our lives,

insurmountable

 

JHF

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Risk

I often wonder what it feels like

to be you

A lyric stolen from a song

A line of a poem

never to be published

The intangible things

are somehow just as critical

as the ones

screaming at you.

The crimson red flags

you choose not to trust

at first

How does it feel to be perceived

as a risk

to someone else’s well-being?

How does it feel

to be perceived at all?

Friends

Friends, you said

friends is what you’d like to be.

My friendship means the world to you,

you said.

Another reason

why trusting people’s words

never comes easy to me.

Maybe your

definition of friendship

is different than mine.

Friends don’t hurt

each other-

At first I considered

taking you up on this friendship option-

Yes, please, I said.

And instantly regretted it.

You said,

not yet,

anyway.

Maybe someday.

Fuck you.

Captive

I watched you from afar

though I couldn’t see you,

and I still wonder where you are,

a part of me sees you

gazing under the stars.

 

And dear,

even with all of the friction,

the manipulation and confusion,

even with all of the fear

 

I still hold you near.

There’s a part of me

that will not release you

or am I simply

still your captive my dear?

Little Fixes

Center of the day begins to unfold

Already gone through the marshes and mixes

Alive & full,

Lick our lipses

Do what we can to get our fixes

Skin as oily

as Honeydew

You caught me in a full-on looptiloo

Getting Right

In attempts to avoid folding within myself
I sit numbly
Your possible rejection of me
Collides into a forgotten, yet nostalgic fear
Creating unforgotten insecurities
Memories of the past start flooding in
But the boulders are too high and sharp
The lack of words become deafening
I just want to cover my ears
And cry out of relief
Over holding in the washed up emotions
That I tried so hard to flee from
Spending countless days and hours
Looking in and Distracting from myself
Getting over someone, and
Getting right with me.

Awkward

Silence stills me-

us-

sharing the same space,

in the same room.

Unknowing of what

to say, he pulls out his

device which connects

him to the technological outside

world. A connection that

makes more sense

than what’s going on in this room.

Something to fill his mind,

something to take his time,

something to allow him to rewind.

 

Surrounded by the awkward,

the silence,

I could mutter a sound-

to break the confusion.

Instead I give him

his own satisfaction-

and start staring at my

screen-

and write.

The only thing that

makes sense to me.

Fire Agate

Don’t fail me

now,

my stone of wonders-

this time is different.

I feel

stronger, but love

I can’t escape,

nor do I want to,

no matter how

viciously it sucks

the life out of me-

a vampire at twilight

who craves a

victim-

but life it gives

me, those rare moments

that seem to last

a lifetime and

seem to be the life

that i’d always

been looking for.

Binaries control

my path-

two choices of complete

opposition suddenly

arise, and I

must do something-

or let it bleed me

and do nothing at all.

 

Night Crawlers

She sat

afraid

yet trying to ignore

the

impending darkness.

There used

to be a time

when sleep was fine,

there were no

mysterious entities

doomed to enter

into her brain.

So she remains

awoken in

this simulated state

of human consciousness

in order to avoid

the realities

of the subconscious

thoughts

and desires,

unknown night critters that

crawl around

unannounced.

By day

the bed is her

friend,

by night her

enemy,

not knowing

if there will be someone else,

that certain someone,

to lay next to her tonight

to protect her from

the monsters

that dwell inside

her closet and

under the bed–

phantoms only to creep out

and prey

when there is no comfort

of sunlight.