Dirty Laundry: A Short Short

Rachael grabbed a white sock off the floor and brought it to her nose, determining if she should put it in the laundry basket or back in the drawer. Revolted by the stench, she threw it towards the basket. It landed right in the center of a dirty dish her husband left on the ground from the night before.

“You can’t be serious,” Rachael blurted out, looking directly at her husband lying on the bed watching another survival show, “You’re going to lay there watching me pick up after your filth you leave all over the house.”

Carter averted his eyes from the screen and looked at Rachael, not even a little surprised at her little outburst. “I don’t remember you asking me to help you,” he said as a matter of fact.

“Do I really have to ask you to help me out a little bit? I shouldn’t have to ask you in the first place! Stop being such a pig!” She picked the sock off the greasy plate and shoved it into the crammed laundry basket.

“Oh, you’re going to start with this tonight,” Carter said, setting the remote on the pillow, starting to stand.

“Yeah, it’s going to be this night again. Maybe if you got off your lazy ass every once in a while, you’d be able to watch your tv in peace,” Rachael said as her cheeks scorched. Maybe she went too far this time. Carter kept walking toward the door as if he didn’t hear her.

“Now you’re just going to ignore me? Come on, Carter, what are we doing?” Rachael pleaded. He kept on walking, now out the door towards the stairs. “Oh, there you go, walk away, just like you always do.”

Carter turned around and faced her, eyes widening, voice still cool, “Yep, I’m walking away. Watch me walk away” he said, and calmly walked down the stairs.

“You can’t be serious!” Rachael yelled out, her eyes burning red. “Don’t you walk away from me! You know I can’t stand it when you do that!” She reached toward the laundry basket and grabbed whatever could fit in her hands and tossed it everywhere. She couldn’t stop herself, wailing, scorching tears welling up in her deep brown eyes. After all of the contents were dispersed, on the bed, on the floor, in the bathroom, on the nightstand, she flailed herself on the bed and finally allowed the tears to escape.

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My Reading List So Far This Year (2017)

Reading is, by far, one of my favorite things to do. That feeling you get when you finish a book is like no other. I love it when I pick up on allusions in books, or references to other books or writers that I’ve read. I definitely haven’t read as many books as I was hoping this year, but since I got a new library card for the library by my work, it has helped a lot. When I check out a book, it’s more of a requirement to finish it 🙂 Here are the books (that I can remember) and a little synopsis that I’ve read this year.

  1. All the Ugly and Wonderful Things by Bryn Greenwoodall the ugly
    I ordered this book through Book of the Month Club because it was rated Book of the Year in their system, and I can see why. I’d definitely call this one of my all time favorite books. It moved me emotionally throughout the whole book, and showed me a different perspective on tough matters such as appropriate age differences of dating. Wavy is the daughter of a meth dealer and an addict, and this book portrays her life growing up from a young child to an adult. It becomes a powerful love story that will definitely stick in your mind weeks after finishing it.
  2. Your Voice in my Head by Emma Forrest-
    your voiceThis memoir was very captivating for me as I could relate to many of the behavioral and addiction/men issues Emma wrote about. Emma writes about being an English journalist living in America, her experiences through mania and depression, and her experiences through different relationships in her life. Beautifully written with a witty voice, I would definitely recommend this memoir to all of my girlfriends.
  3. Into the Water by Paula Hawkins-
    I was SO excited to read this book because I absolutely LOVED The Girl on the Train by Paula Hawkins. I could barely wait for this book to come out and almost pre into the waterordered it. I ended up forgetting about it and checking it out at the library when I randomly went in there one day during my lunch break. And let me tell you now, this book definitely wasn’t as good as TGOTT. I feel like Hawkins was so excited about how well her first novel did, so she rushed to get another one out. I could be wrong, though. It just seemed all over the place- the characters weren’t developed well, there was less of a mystery, and seemed pretty unoriginal. Oh well, it was still a fast read.
  4. Snow White: A Graphic Novel by Matt Phelan-
    I was introduced to Graphic Novels in my Young Adult Literature course at CSU and snow whitehave been obsessed ever since. There are many retellings of classic stories through graphic novels (sort of like comic books) which become compelling, short, and visually stimulating reads to potentially help kids enjoy reading. I read the Farenheit 451 retelling, which was quite awesome. This Snow White retelling was pretty good, but I guess I expected more dialogue. The drawings are very beautiful! And it literally took me 5 minutes to get through.
  5. All our Wrong Todays by Elan Mastai-
    all or wrong todaysThis is a crazy, fast paced, compelling book about time travel, futuristic societies, love, and relationships. I liked that the chapters were only about 2 pages long, so it felt like a fast-paced roller coaster. The narrator is hilarious and the writer is beautifully descriptive- here’s an awesome quote I took away: “Maturity colonizes your adolescent mind, like an ultraviolet photograph of a vast cosmic nebula that turns out, on closer examination, to be a pointillist self portrait.”

There were also a few other books that I started to read, and didn’t quite finish- Truth and Beauty by Ann Patchett, The Art of Seduction by Robert Greene, and Behind Her Eyes by Sarah Pinborough. I probably won’t go back and read the Ann Patchett, but I will probably go back to the others when I find time. The Art of Seduction is extremely lengthy and can be quite repetitive, but it is very interesting. And Behind Her Eyes is a thriller, and I just didn’t finish it because of the many different things that started at my life during that time.

I’m excited to get more books and keep on reading! Please let me know in the comments if you’ve read any of these, what your thoughts are, or if you have any book recommendations! Thanks!

 

 

 

 

Something

“Stream-of-consciousness writing a la Jack Kerouac is a meditation tool. Writing about regrets over the past or fears of the future, no.”

Feelings hypnotize unsatisfied ruler of my brain. Please don’t come down here there is really something wrong with my brain. Today, at least. Well, most days. Unconventional, unacceptable as “normal” let me apologize now before you decide to run away. Sometimes I wish I could run away, take a vacation and escape from the pounding confusion, lifting the fog that’s in my head. I used to be afraid to showcase these things, people wouldn’t understand. But still face to face I have to pretend that I belong in this world with these socially acceptable behaviors. I really have no idea what to do.

Haircut

I had a dream. I stole a bunch of money from grandma. Mom found it. I gave it back, but still kept some. Leigh drove back to get it.
Cut.
I want a haircut. Bad.
I’m at the Peakview house with mom
She knew I wanted to steal pills.
She had a new Louise Vuitton purse.
I asked if she would buy me a haircut,
She said no.
And I was confused.
because she had a new thousand dollar purse.
There was something evil in the house.
I tried to board it up,
make it go away.
It gave me chills.
We left and saw a hair dresser,
but it was late.
She said my hair was too long
I could only be comfortable
if I put it up.

Guidance

A compilation of texts I’ve received from a certain Spiritual Guide

 

“Having lived long, I have learned that not one thing is true– it’s all true.” Ernest Hemingway.

“No thought, no reflection, no analysis, no cultivation, no intention; let it settle itself.” Tilopa

Meditation is bearing witness to thoughts as they arise like bubbles from the bottom of a pond. Don’t add to the thoughts, just watch them rise, burst, and vanish. Eventually they stop rising.

In your desirelessness lies your only fulfillment.

“In your complete helplessness suddenly the whole Existence moves to help you” -Osho

Hope is desire for things to be other than they are. Without hope you deal with reality.

Pessimism is expectation of the worst. This is no expectation and no preferences.  Nothing is better or worse.

You are all neutral, accepting all.

The admission of confusion is the beginning of enlightenment.

In your hopelessness lies your only hope.

If you have no desires you are fulfilled.

Helpless, you are not striving, but moving with existence.

Let it be.

Expression

It’s weird how words express our feelings.
Sometimes words can’t do this.
I was looking at a tree today.
I’m not sure what kind.
A tree with green leaves.
Really tall and overpowering.
What I thought of was,
I’ve never really appreciated this tree.
Or trees in general, in a really long time.
“Appreciate” being the key word.
That’s the closest word I could come to the emotions that I felt.
But it was more than appreciation.
It was love, it was sad, it was happy,
It was… Confusing.
I moved to an apartment
In an area where I don’t see trees
that often.
But I used to live by trees and see
trees all the time.
But i didn’t appreciate them.
I didn’t miss them
Until I went to my parents’ house,
the house I used to live.
I saw the tree, and I saw the life
that  I forgot about.
Maybe not forgot, just never
noticed.

Purple Pen

Purple pen

Cursive handwriting

Voices

Laughter

Sadness

Joy

Binaries

Are what life is made of. Not too much in between. Completely addicted.

Or utterly sober.

Joyously happy & content

Or gray skys sad

Too much energy to sit down

Not enough energy to think

Hot as balls

Or cold as the titanic.

When will we be able to find something in the middle?

They made me take a medication to put me in the middle. Don’t know if it works. Because sometimes I don’t have any emotions at all. I’d be content with staring at the wall.

Tough Day

So, my phone completely broke the other night. I hate Iphones. Ughh. It just simply wouldn’t turn on, even on the charger.

So today I realized I could use my dad’s old, pretty crappy phone (no t9!?) and put my sim card in there. My contacts of course weren’t converted with my luck.

I was looking through my mom’s numbers of the family to put in my phone, and I passed my her number. “Mom cell” and Mom home” were what they were titled. My grandma. Usually when I put my grandmas in my phone, there’s Gma home and cell, and Gma Faust. 2 grandmas. This realization really hit me hard. Emotions totally come and go, and this was definitely very emotional for me.

But, I need to be especially grateful for the Grandma that I still have. She’s 93, but healthy as can be. Still lives at home on her own, drives, and even golfs sometimes. I got a message from her during the time my phone was off, asking me to come by and help her with a puzzle. That put a tear in my eye, and made me so grateful that I have a wonderful, wise, lovely lady grandma in my life that I can spend time with. Meanwhile, Gma Dewey is looking down at me from above, and is with me at all times.

clouds

Obituary

Patricia Ann Dewey, 73, of Aurora, Colorado, passed away on April 3, 2013. The funeral service will be held at Fairmount Mortuary at 430 South Quebec Street on Wednesday, April 10 at 11:00. Pastor Ray Cook of Colorado Community Church will be officiating. Viewing will be held at Fairmount Mortuary on Tuesday, April 9 from 12:00 to 4:00 pm. Burial will follow the funeral at Fairmount Mortuary.

 
Patricia was born in Tucson, Arizona on February 26, 1940 to Joseph and Edith Wilson. She graduated from Whittier High School, and continued on to receive an Accounting degree from Metro State in Colorado. Patricia had one brother, Richard, who proceeded her in death in 2006. Karen, Patricia’s daughter, was born in La Mirada, California on March 3, 1966.

 
In 1972, Patricia and her family moved to Colorado. She worked as a Controller for Fairmount Mortuary for 18 years. She enjoyed playing golf, camping, and painting. Patricia was also actively involved in Eastern Star.  Patricia is survived by her daughter and son in law, Karen and John Faust, as well as two grandchildren, Jordan and Ryan Faust. She is also survived by two nieces, Jamie and Jodi Wilson. Patricia was very active in her church no matter where she lived. Patricia’s kindness, generosity, joy, love, and humor touched everyone she knew, and will be greatly missed by her family and friends.

 

The Reception will be held at Colorado Community Church following  the funeral services. Address can be found below.

 
In lieu of flowers, memorial contributions in Patricia’s honor may be made to:
Colorado Community Church
Deacons Fund
2220 S Chambers Road
Aurora Colorado 80014
(Please write “Patricia Dewey Memorial”
in the memo line of your check)
Or
The Denver Hospice
501 S Cherry Street – Suite 700
Denver Colorado 80246

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Passed…

She passed today around 12:30pm.

The lingering is over.

She’s in her eternal home.

Thank you for all your support in this difficult time.

“Whatever we focus on, we give power to. “Set your mind on things above, not on things on the earth.” [Colossians 3:2] Take your eyes off the negative and you will dis-empower it. If you are wounded and offended, it proves your old nature is still alive. The best way to keep it dead is to live in the new nature of ‘Christ in you, the hope of glory’.”

God Bless,

Jordan