When It Rains, It Pours

The first time I heard this saying, I was at work when I was the only cashier, and all of a sudden a million people got in line at once. I probably looked extremely overwhelmed, and the customer I was currently with looked sympathetically at me and said, “when it rains it pours.” I had to think about it for a second, but I got it.

Ever since then, I’ve been realizing how true this is to my life. When something bad happens, all of a sudden everything else that could go bad seems to do so.

A couple years back, I was going through a horrible break-up. I was also in the middle of moving to a different location, and my grandma and great grandma were going through nursing homes and health issues. My life became so stressful and overwhelming that I had to withdraw from that semester at school. I’m still dealing with the consequences of missing that semester at school, since it set me back. And I’m still emotionally hardened at times with the break up. Things looked up a little after that, and it was definitely a good learning experience for me.

Current times are reminding me of those times. The passing of my grandmother is very tough for me and my family, especially my mom since she was her only daughter. During this last month full of hospitals, nursing homes, and a death, I’ve also been going through another break-up. He didn’t seem to be that sympathetic to me, and he didn’t seem to get it through his head that my family takes first priority for me. Today it was finalized because I told him I couldn’t go to a movie last minute. I told him I needed to work on myself during this time, and if he couldn’t support me in that, then I couldn’t continue working on the relationship. So he pretty much wrote me off, with words of “nice knowing ya” and “bye.” It broke my heart, but maybe it’s for the best. He will probably never speak to me again, since he told me once that he never stays friends with exes. He blocked me from facebook too, which is probably another good thing because otherwise I’d be tempted to see what he’s doing. It’s just so hard to think that I’ll never have any kind of a relationship with this person who had part of my heart ever again.

I guess I just need to look at the positives out of this pouring rain.

My grandma is in her eternal, heavenly home no longer suffering.

There’s a better person out there for me that will be sensitive to my needs and priorities.

Now I just need to get my $h!t together; get back on track with school, save my money to move out and be independent, probably by finding another job, and continue working on myself- my happiness, faith, health, sobriety, etc. You have to love yourself first before you can love someone else.

On another positive, random note, my wonderful friend, and friend of my grandma’s, cut my hair today for free! And I did the “wild ombre” dye job to my hair. I feel refreshed with this new look. And I start work again tomorrow. 🙂

calm

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